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Next week, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen turn 30. For the first 18 years of their lives, they were entertainment-making machines. By the time they were able to vote, they had starred in more than a dozen direct-to-video movies, acted in eight seasons of Full House, and even voiced their own animated series.
Looking back at the library of Olsen movies that were the jewel of any pre-teen's video collection, some stand out more than others. Sure, Passport to Paris might have been what (even subconsciously) convinced you to do your semester abroad in France, but your entire middle school wardrobe was influenced by Billboard Dad. So, we've ranked each Olsen twin movie, from the notable to the totally forgettable (does anyone remember The Challenge?).
Full disclosure: Films the twins merely appeared in, like Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle and The Little Rascals were not considered, nor were video series You're Invited or T he Adventures Of... The mark the Olsens left on Hollywood is vast and cannot be contained in a single list.
14. Getting There (2002)
I have absolutely no memory of so much as an ad in Girl's Life for this film. There's some particularly painful acting in this clip alone.
13. How The West Was Fun (1994)
The west was not that fun.
12. The Challenge (2003)
A Parent Trap -style living situation ensures it's clear that these twins are DIFFERENT. So different. Can't even agree on a lipgloss, that's how different they are. Fun fact, co-writer Michael Swerdlick also wrote Can't Buy Me Love and Love Don't Cost a Thing.
11. Switching Goals (1999)
A truly feminist film that shows girls they can be whoever they want to be, while remembering that there are only two types of girls they can choose from.
10. Holiday In The Sun (2001)
So many demerits just for Megan Fox's horrible mean-girl delivery. It was her first film role. Obviously, she's come a long way.
9. Double Double, Toil and Trouble (1993)
This Halloween flick came out when family friendly Halloween movies were pretty limited. So, after kids tired of It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, they had to sit through this PSA about the danger of sibling rivalry (when paired with dark magic).
8. Winning London (2001)
A movie to fill the hole in the hearts of all budding teenage anglophiles after the Spice Girls went on hiatus.
7. When In Rome(2002)
They said the title of the movie in the movie. This film might actually be responsible for lowering teen's expectations about internships in the wake of The Hills.
6. Passport to Paris(1999)
The first in the illustrious international Olsens collection. Honestly, if some kind of travel agency packaged a trek as "Experience the world like the Olsen Twins" twentysomethings would sign up immediately.
5. New York Minute (2004)
The Olsen twins' last film together was released a month before their 18th birthday. It was like a witch's curse bound them together with VHS tapes. At the stroke of adulthood, they were free.
4. Our Lips Are Sealed (2000)
Even in the witness protection program, their lives were enviable. It's also part of the great film canon which makes up the sum total of suburban American kids' understanding of Australia, along with Finding Nemo, The Rescuers Down Unde r, and Kangaroo Jack.
3. To Grandmother's House We Go (1992)
They were pretty cute. And resourceful.
2. Billboard Dad(1998)
Billboard Dad marks the Olsens' transition from cute little kids to cool tweens. This is evidenced by their interest in boys and their commitment to all the ways their hair could possible gathered into two groups.
1. It Takes Two (1995)
There's a reason this was the one that had a life before the VHS tape. It has everything a 9 year old could want in a film — a rich kid, a scrappy kid, a food fight, and a comically evil stepmother. Plus, some really classic Kirstie Alley.
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