Even if you think you’re not kinky, there’s a chance your brain might be. And when it comes to getting turned on and orgasming, our brains deserve more credit than they often get.
Not only are sexual fantasies totally normal, but they allow us to explore our sexuality in a space that’s super safe: our imaginations. For couples in long-term relationships, sharing sexual fantasies with one another can renew excitement, writes certified sex therapist Marty Klein in an article about erotic role-playing. But whether they’re shared with a partner or kept in mind for solo pleasure, sexual fantasies can be pretty fantastic.
While some fantasies — such as having sex in a romantic or unexpected location — are fairly common, others are completely random or personal. Whatever your sexual fantasy is, though, it’s probably not as out-of-the-ordinary as you might think.
To give you a peek into what actual people are fantasizing about (because who isn’t wondering, right?), we asked readers and R29 staffers to anonymously share their go-to sexual fantasy. So read on and dream on, y’all.
"I always thought crushing on your trainer was reserved for middle-aged women living in the suburbs. Then I met my trainer, on what became the most motivated summer break of my entire life. On the days I had sessions, I'd try to contain myself each time he adjusted an arm or a leg, and especially when he made me do a plank while using his hand to put pressure on the small of my back. On the days I wasn't scheduled to see him, I'd make sure he saw me in my sweaty glow, doing squats and stretching out. In a perfect world, he'd shut down the gym one night, lead me upstairs, and fuck me on every piece of exercise equipment he could, giving me commands and counting down my reps like he did in my sessions. Then, we'd cool off in the locker room and do it again in the shower, hot bodies pressed against the cold tiles. Maybe finish off with a smoothie downstairs and a 'See you for our next session, miss' to end the night." — Missy, 20
"I don't know if I'd ever like this in a role play, but I like to read medical play fanfiction usually involving two men, even though I'm a heterosexual woman. I really like the act of one person being examined and the other one in control of that." — Em, 18
“I'm doing laundry in my building's basement and a hot neighbor I've been eyeing for a while sneaks up behind me and starts kissing my neck. I turn around, and it feels amazing. He lifts me up onto the washing machine, and we have sex right then and there — with the vibrations from the machine pulsating through my body.” — Lulu, 23
“[My fantasy is] serving a few girls at a party — being the server, wearing only the apron and nothing else, doing whatever the girls tell me to do. Eventually, I’m doing the housework naked and entertaining the girls.” — Nantes, 22
“[I fantasize] that the dad of the family I babysit brings me into his bedroom after the kids are asleep and asks if I want to earn a little extra money. Then he puts me on the bed and undresses me and kisses and touches my body and breasts (but not my mouth, which I'm just now realizing) and gives me oral sex. But I never touch him. He does all the work and he also remains clothed. I'm gay (a gay woman) and I don't want anything to do with touching him or seeing him naked. I think the reason it turns me on so much is because he's a man, and so I feel no emotional connection or like it's actually real. Sex or intimacy with girls is really stressful for me, because I fear being judged because it actually matters to me, but since I don't feel any attachment to men, I don't care what they think of me. I feel like this is pretty weird, but I think about it when I masturbate pretty often and it always really works.” — Nanny, 20
“My sexual fantasies tend to surface in my dreams. I have vivid dreams, and I usually remember them, so I'll recount one. I once dreamt that a girl was pressing her body into me. The pressure was amazing. She stimulated my clit and covered every inch of my body with hers. I woke up and honestly thought I'd had sex with someone the night before. It felt like a warm summer glow, where you close your eyelids and see only the light pink and yellow of sunshine when your eyes are closed. It was definitely hot. And wet.” — Girl Dreamer, 18
“I love to fantasize about having sex with my boyfriend and his brother. I imagine it playing out like this... My boyfriend (I'm just going to call him S.O.) is in the other room visiting with his brother from the navy who has come to stay with us for a couple of days. I'm in the kitchen doing the dishes, and the next thing I know, I feel S.O.'s hands wrap around my arms. He pulls me into the back room and I don't see his brother immediately, because he is behind the door. From there S.O. turns to me and says, ‘We would like to fuck you. It's something we have been wanting for a while,’ and his brother whips out his cock while S.O. ties me to the futon after I eagerly agree. Then, they gently punish me switching between double penetration and the boys taking turns eating me out. They don't finish until I cum... This is something I've been fantasizing about for YEARS. Sometimes there are slight variations, or I like to add their father to the mix. I mean, how could I not dream about getting fucked by the both of them? They love each other more than anything, and I've never met a better team of siblings... I guess there is something about their family that just gets me...” — Mickey, 21
“My mind keeps returning to the fantasy of sharing a hotel room with my thirtysomething...soccer coach the night before a game. The idea of being ‘chosen’ by an older authority figure (especially one that is hypermasculine), me being ‘special’ enough for him to want me, is more of an emotional fantasy, rather than a sexual one. Taking place in a hotel room is just another layer of being ‘chosen.’ Every time my mind wanders into this fantasy, the sex aspect takes somewhat of a backseat in favor of the emotional fulfilment it gives me. Imagining the sex doesn’t evoke strong images, but rather sensations: My breath gets caught in the back of my throat, my ears and the small of my back get warm, my forearm starts getting tingly, and I imagine our legs being intertwined under the sheets. The emotional fantasy gives me a sense of accomplishment: I was able to get him to want me, therefore I must have done something right. Also, my coach was really hot, so that probably had something to do with it.” — Neck, 19
“For a while now, I've wondered what it would be like to have sex with a woman (I'm a woman in a committed heterosexual relationship). I imagine that I'm with a friend, someone I know well, and after talking about these feelings, she agrees to experiment with me. Or better yet, she teaches me, because she's already experienced. I want to feel the soft, gentle touch of a woman. I also want to go down on a woman. I've woken up from dreams like this, where I'm eating out a girl, and it's always so hot. But I feel I could never tell my boyfriend; I told him that I had drunkenly kissed a girl friend in college six years ago, and then he got upset about it when I went to hang out with her the next weekend.” — Mandy, 23
“[My fantasy is] being submissive, but specifically being submissive by using a butt plug. I'm a very loud, dominant woman, and I like switching it in the bedroom.” — Jane, 18
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