Watching the past few episodes of Keeping Up With The Kardashians has been a little like watching the last few minutes of a marathon with flashes of excitement but mostly everyone’s just slogging to the finish line. There have been moments of interest and drama (that Taylor Swift storyline for example), but mostly it's been business as usual.
This week looked like it was going to be different. The promos and early clips promised actual Blac Chyna drama. There’s an emoji that looks like Kylie. Surely, this will get the storylines moving. Or maybe not.
The Rob drama gets set up early. Kourtney and Khloé are bringing Jonathan up to speed about Mother’s Day. Khloé opted out of the festivities at her mother’s house this year to give Rob some space. “I was more than happy to sleep in and let my brother take this one,” Khloé says. Kourtney explains that Rob brought Chyna, and it was a low-key affair. “Everything was fine,” Kourtney says. She says they need to support Rob and that a baby doesn’t need to come into the world surrounded by tension.
In a strange, awkward, and inappropriate-feeling story, Scott decides to confront Kourtney about her eating habits. He drops by with lunch and brings Kourtney a sandwich that he says used to be her favorite. She tells him she can’t eat it because it has cheese and gluten. Scott insists that her food allergies are all in her head.
Speaking of food, Lamar is clearly enjoying the Big Mac he is eating at Kris’s house. He’s enjoying it so much that some of it ends up on the floor. Kris is quick to tell him that it’s not a problem. Khloé cries foul, claiming that Kris would have freaked out if any of her kids had gotten secret sauce on the gray carpet. Kris asks Lamar how he’s doing. He tells her about a basketball camp he is considering going to in Santa Barbara. The Big Mac and the basketball camp represent the two sides of what is going on with Khloé and Lamar. She is trying to push him towards positive things, like the camp, and he’s drawn to his old ways, represented here by the Big Mac.
Back at Kourtney’s Kim has arrived. Kourtney is happy with her hair, unlike the night before. “Last night’s was awful,” she says to Kim. “I couldn’t even snap.” Oh, the horror! Kim feels her pain and commiserates. It is, indeed, truly terrible when you can’t snap. Kim tells Kourtney that Chyna called her to tell her about her new animated emojis. Kim was pleased with the call, and Kourtney agrees that giving Kim a heads up was cool because Kim’s like the “inventor” with her Kimojis. Don’t worry. This harmony in emoji-land doesn’t last long.
Scott is on a mission to dispel Kourtney’s food choices not as allergies but as myths. So many things are wrong with this: Firstly, if she doesn’t have allergies, she should have some respect for people who do and not call them allergies. Second, Scott needs to back off and stay out of his ex’s food choices. All of that aside, this doesn’t even work as a source of real conflict for the show. Scott wants Khloé to help him switch out Kourtney’s food (again: wrong and potentially dangerous) but Khloé’s not interested in his reindeer games. She’s still trying to make this basketball camp in Santa Barbara happen.
Meanwhile, the Chymoji have hit cyberspace and Kourtney is not happy. There is one in particular of Chyna slapping another woman. That woman has dark hair and purple lips, and everyone’s assuming it’s Kylie. Kourtney is confused, especially after Mother’s Day. Kourtney says that she immediately called Rob. She was going to call Chyna, but she didn’t want to yell at a pregnant person. Rob says it isn’t Kylie, and he’s going to tell everyone on the red carpet at his event that night that he has “the worst, most disgusting family.”
At Khloé’s house, Kylie is nonplussed. “Aren’t you upset that Chyna made an emoji of you?” Khloé asks. Kylie shrugs it off. She says she never had side bangs, so it is clearly not her. She says she talked to Chyna. “I really think it looks like this girl that she hates that she had a public fight with,” Kylie says. She thinks everyone should back off of Rob because of the baby. So, after all of the pre-show hype, the emoji conflict proves to be a real dud. For a reality show that breathes internet drama like the rest of the world breathes air, this one falls flat.
Khloé tells Kylie that Lamar said he’s having dark thoughts and cravings. Khloé has been urging him to get professional help. “I don’t know how to help you with this,” she says she told Lamar.
Scott’s still on his quest for pantry mischief at Kourtney’s house. Kylie agrees to help him switch out the non-dairy for dairy and the gluten-free for regular bread. They go to Kourtney’s house, and Scott’s plan is working just fine until Kylie decides to tell Kourtney about it. Good for Kylie who says,"I feel awkward." You’re not alone, Kylie. “I feel bad in case there really is something that could happen.” Again, good for you. At least she sees that this is a bad idea. Kourtney makes her promise not to tell Scott that Kourtney knows about the cupboard caper.
Later, Kim and Kourtney catch up about Rob. Kourtney feels bad that she yelled at her brother. Kim thinks everyone just needs to get along. In a moment of real self-awareness, Kourtney draws the parallel to her pregnancy with Mason. She says she knows what it is like to have people not support you during pregnancy. She remarks that it took a long time for people to like Scott. Despite her uncharacteristic outburst over the emoji, she does have empathy for Rob and Chyna. She and Kim agree that they need peace and harmony. And a good mirror to take selfies in.
At lunch with Kris, Kourtney tells Kris about Scott’s inflated and questionably-intentioned food plan. Kris is not upset. She is entertained. She and Kourtney agree that the best plan is to prank Scott and make him think that he made Kourtney sick with the switched out food. Sounds hilarious, doesn’t it? Fortunately for all involved, who surely must look back on this whole thing with some regret, Kourtney is a terrible actress, and Scott is never genuinely worried. She agrees to call them “food restrictions” instead of allergies. Scott agrees to butt out. They made it to a good place. They just took the wrong route to get there.
With that issue resolved, Kourtney has to move on to patching things up with Rob. Kim gets Rob to come over and gets Kourtney on the phone. The negativity is put to rest. Apologies are made, and apologies are accepted. Kim underscores the problems with the episode. “There’s no reason for there to be any drama really,” she says. Then she says, “We just want to be a family and always be there and supportive for each other.”
The episode goes out on a sad note. Lamar is backsliding, and Khloé doesn’t know what to do. Her sisters are worried about her. “Why do I treat him better than I treat myself?” Khloé says. Kourtney has empathy here, too, given her past with Scott.
Kim gives her sister some grim advice. Try your best, she says, but “be prepared for the worst.”
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