From first kiss to first sex (however you define it) to first orgasm, what importance do you assign your sexual firsts? Perhaps some were wonderful, and others were nonconsensual or otherwise awful. Some of these are likely pivotal moments, while others may be forgotten. (Contrary to what teen movies teach us, firsts aren't always a big deal.) To honor the huge diversity of first-time sexual experiences, we're gathering your retellings of them and compiling your stories each month with a new theme. First up: First kisses. The accounts that follow range from charming to creepy, and they may have you looking back on your own sexual firsts. No, they don't predict our future sex lives. They often do shape us, though — or at least provide us with stories to tell.
This month, we're sharing steamy personal stories, exploring ways to have even better sex, and wading through the complicated dynamics that follow us into the bedroom. Here's to a very happy February. Check out more right here.
Identifies as: Female
Age: 25
Age at first kiss: 16
"I was on vacation with my best friend and her family. We — my best friend, her older sister, her older sister's best friend, and I — snuck some alcohol from her parents and drank at the house. The night before, we had met four boys, all about our age, and they had invited us to hang out."
"There was a nearby house that didn't have renters for the week and was easily accessible if you fiddled with the gate to the backyard, so we decided to 'pool hop.' All eight of us went swimming in the house's pool, and I eventually moved up to the hot tub with one of the older guys, Andrew. Andrew and I made out in the hot tub until my best friend's dad caught us, shined a flashlight on our guilty faces, and dragged us back home."
Identifies as: Female
Age: 25
Age at first kiss: 12
"It was with my first 'boyfriend,' whom I dated for a couple weeks...we were serious. He was 14, I was 12. We met at our local community pool and, one day, he brought me behind the basketball courts to this wooded area."
"I wanted to kiss him, but once we did, I did not enjoy it at all and immediately regretted my decision. He forced his tongue down my throat and between trying to breathe and not fall over because of how aggressive he was being, I told him to stop. I then thought, 'Maybe this is just what kissing is,' so we continued. He started moving his hands up my shirt and I then knew for sure I wanted him to stop. He broke up with me on the spot because I wouldn't let him touch my boobs. If I only knew then how common this type of guy would be out in the grown-up world..."
Identifies as: Female
Age: 28
Age at first kiss: 17
"After a long and arduous struggle with my Catholicism, I had finally accepted that I was a lesbian at age 16 (I now identify as queer). Over the next year or so, I was discovering heart-rending crushes for the very first time. I didn't have that normal boy or girl crush thing as a little kid, so I was completely awash with all these emotions and fears — exacerbated, of course, by all my internalized homophobia and recently lost religion. (I'd like to give a shout-out to my therapist for dealing with that.)"
"One day, as a high school junior, I was struck like lightning by this girl in my theater class. She delicately played a few bars of "Moonlight Sonata," and I drifted over to watch her play, mesmerized. With that, I was completely overtaken with a crush that would last for several agonizing months. She was dating an obnoxious red-headed guy named Peter (upon learning my sexual orientation, he proceeded to shout about it to our whole science class, opening me up to a lot of borderline dangerous harassment that lasted for the remainder of the year)."
"Joke was on him, though. At a school dance in spring, I managed to snatch my crush away from Peter for some awkward 'platonic' dancing. During a chaotic moment, she grabbed my arm and pulled me under the bleachers and we proceeded to make out rather clumsily until Peter found us and ruined the whole evening with his ranting. We dated for five years. Peter is now in jail."
Identifies as: Female
Age: 22
Age at first kiss: 15
"My first kiss was 50% awkward, 10% holy, and 40% rainy. It happened one day after school with the guy who would then become my first and only boyfriend in high school (we lasted until the end of high school, about three years)."
"I used to go to a Catholic school where we weren't allowed to PDA at ALL. One day after school, we ran through the rain towards the corner of the school church, and when I turned to hug him, he kissed me. Concerned parents who were picking up their kids started honking their horns at us, so we had to scurry away. It's pretty gag-worthy — too much Notebook, not enough rock-'n'-roll!"
Identifies as: Female
Age: 26
Age at first kiss: 13
"I was dropped off by my mom at the movie theater to go on my second date with my first real boyfriend. Yes, we were boyfriend and girlfriend before date two. I was so nervous because we hadn't kissed yet, and I had never had a real make-out session before. He was a year older, and had already had a few girlfriends, so I totally figured he knew what he was doing."
"We sat in the farthest row in the back corner of the theater, and then it happened. We started making out — full tongue-on-tongue. It was so wet and sloppy, I couldn't understand why people liked kissing so much. We did not last long, but ended up making out again in college. Needless to say, [that time it was] a much better kiss."
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